Kuala Lumpur

My visa was due for renewal, so out of a number of options, I picked going to KL for a few days which gets me off the island, I see another country/city and another 30 day visa on entry back to Thailand.  The journey was reasonably uneventful; well apart from an incident on the Lomprayah catamaran from Koh Tao to Samui. 

I went into the VIP area which is well worth the extra £2 and gets you away from the screaming kids and vomit that is the lower deck.  When I got in there were only about half a dozen people occupying the 42 seats in the cabin.  I went off to one of two seats together.  I had only been sitting for a minute when some Thai guy came in, and ignored the entire empty cabin, and sat directly in front of me.  He then slammed the back of the seat down which smashed me on both kneecaps. Of course I shouted at him and he said he "didn't see me" which made me even more furious.  He walked right past me so how did he not see me?  More like "you didn't even bother to look".

 I suggested that it might be a good idea if he would like to sit somewhere else, given that there was an entire empty cabin at his disposal.  He thought about this for a while and I know he really thought it would be a good idea to move, but of course couldn't because it would seem like he was doing so only because I asked him to.   I wondered how he was going to resolve this without the ultimate Asian embarrassment of not "saving face"  He decided on the "You shouldn't have come to Thailand. You should have stayed at home" approach.  I decided that the tuts and mutterings from the other tourists in the cabin was enough and no further intervention was required.

 

KL airport was suitably appointed to indicate a prosperous and growing modern city, and similar to Bangkok or Singapore.  After a 28 minute express metro ride you are in the centre of the city.  My hotel was the Hotel 1915 next to the Masjid Jamek.  I was quite impressed with this hotel.  It was only £18 per night and nicely refurbished.  The rooms were very small,  but it is great for a few nights on your own. 

 

So then it was off to explore.  There has obviously been a lot of money spent on KL over the years.  The improvements and modernisations are obvious.  However, when you look closely, it does suffer to an extent with that Asian trait of things not being thought through sufficiently.  This can be quite frustrating.  I thought I would visit the National Museum.  Looking at the map the National Museum was close to the central (Sental) station.  No surprise here, you would think.  No different to many other cities you would have visited.  That's were you make the mistake.  This is an Asian city - so nothing is as it seems.  I left the station and couldn't find the bloody place.  There were just a mass of new roads without footpaths and new building sites that seemed to block my way at every turn.  No signposts whatsoever.  I gave up.

 

The next day I decided not to be defeated.  I reassessed the map and tried again.  Well, there it was. Clearly only about 300m from the station.  The only way to reach the museum was to exit the station on the Western side, and actually go under the Hilton Hotel, that is through their car park.  On coming out the other side you have to walk along a five lane carriageway that has no footpath, then find an opening on the wall to climb down a ladder to the lower level.  Then you have to cross another carriageway before you get close to the museum.  If you are old, disabled or have a fear of traffic, forget it.

 

It is worth a visit.  There are four galleries - pre-historic, historic, colonial and modern.  Strangely not too much about the British in the colonial part. Out the back are a couple of other museums too.  There is one that deals with ethnography.  It is bizarre to be in the shadow of such advanced architecture as the Petronas Towers, and to be reading a display that openly describes how female genital mutilation is still practised on infant girls in the country.

 

Back to the station and the metro network.  This is not too bad, but nowhere near as good as Bangkok.  Yet several more examples of not thinking through designs and total lack of practicality.  On the map it shows that the monorail and all the other lines are together in the same station - Sentral.  Well, they aren't.  The monorail is quite some distance away, and there is only one sign that is not helpful.  It took me a good 20 minutes to find it.  On arrival, the entrance (which is also the exit) is about three feet wide.  As soon as you go through this, the ticket machines are on the right against the wall.  This means that the queues for the machines block the entrance/exit.  Can you see a picture building up?  Not only this, but to get to the trains you have to turn left, across the front of the ticket counter  (which, by the way, doesn't sell tickets, it just gives you change for the machines).  Here, you have to fight your way through the queues for the counter.  Another example of where a little bit of thought could have provided a much more user friendly solution.

 

 

I found it hard to understand why the locals have such difficulty in using the machines.  As a stranger there, I used one once, and then it is quite straightforward.  You touch the line you want, touch the station you want to go to, it gives you the price, and you put the money into the machine. Simple? Clearly not.  On occasions there is a MASSIVE illuminated flashing sign on the top of the machine saying "EXACT FARE ONLY" Clearly this is only there for decoration, and has no useful function.  On other occasions, there would be a picture of a RM10 note on the screen with a big red line through it. This would suggest to me, not being an expert of course, that the machine was not accepting RM10 notes.  This did not seem to prevent hoards of locals deciding to distrust the foreign - and clearly non-Muslim- evil machine, and trying to force their RM10 notes inside it.  I really lost count of the number of times I had to come out of the ever growing queue to help some local before a Fatwa was declared.

 

Time  for a drink I think. I wonder how this would pan out in a Muslim country, but before long I was in some nightclub called "Lust".  Funny how religion can go out the window where money is concerned.  I spoke to a friendly barmaid who directed me to a street with all the pubs on it - Changkat Bukit Bintang.  This is not the cheapest place to drink in the World.  A 30ml vodka would be a minimum of £3 plus tax and in many places more like £4 or more.  There is really just this one street full of bars and some restaurants.   They spill out onto the pavements, and there are numerous waitresses trying to entice you inside with "Happy hour" and "free cocktail"  I like sitting outside and watching the World go by.  It really is the World.  There are a plethora of prostitutes walking up and down the street.  They will squeeze your leg and try to chat to you, but aren't pushy and soon get the message.

 

It tasted very much like the vodka was watered down.  There was very little taste to it, and I was knocking them back quite quickly.  It was 12:15 and I asked the waitress what time the trains finished at.  Her laughter signified I had missed the last one.  I had no idea where I was and also no clue how I was getting back to the hotel.  It was then one of those "In for a penny, in for a pound" moments. The last thing I remember was it was 02:15 and I was talking to some bloke who had stopped in a car.  It might have been a taxi, or might not.  I really don't know.  I woke up the next morning in my hotel room with a packet of crisps, a Twix and a small pot of Tigerbalm. 

 

One of the better attractions I would recommend would be the Aquarium.  It's underneath the conference centre at KLCC.  It is informative, and well laid out, with a glass tunnel where you can see numerous sharks and rays etc.  At KLCC there  is an OK shopping centre spanning seven levels, and comprising the usual designer shops, and some restaurants on the top level., bit it isn't cheap.  It's right below the Petronas Towers.  You can go up the towers as far as the cross-bridge, and if you want to pay £16 for the experience.  I didn't. 

 

I did however go to see the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra there.  They were performing Beethoven's 1st and 3rd (Eroica) Symphonies.  I was sceptical as this orchestra has had a number of difficulties recently with management and members getting sacked etc, but I have to admit it was a really exceptional performance.  It is a pity it wasn't better supported, with the hall only being about 30% full.

 

My final trip was out to the Batu caves.  It only costs £1 on the train to get there, but £2 to get back.  Something else Asian that makes no sense.  This experience is like being back in India.  They are a Hindu shrine, and you can walk up the 171 steps and go inside.  They are full of Hindu idolatry, and clearly designed by Indians (or probably Tamils).  It wouldn't take much to dispose of the amount of crap that is lying around - old chairs, desks and general detritis.  The place is full of monkeys that are not shy at pulling away your bags, or anything else that may contain food.  In typical Indian style, there is a bloke hired to keep the monkeys away, which he does by walking up and down the steps, throwing empty bottles at them.  Profesional.  There is also another cave lower down that resembles some sort of zoo for snakes, reptiles and fish.  This is quite funny as the poisonous snakes can poke there heads out of the rotting chicken wire on the top of the cages.  It was really dark inside, and I found myself looking round to make sure none of them had escaped, as there was little explanation for some of the empty displays.

 

Well, that was KL.  Good to visit and see for a day or two. Bring more money than you think you need, and come when the Orchestra are performing.