This a separate article which I wrote recently. It doesn't really fit in here, but some might find it interesting.
I’m off to Turtle
Island, or Koh Tao as it is known in its native tongue. Situated in the Gulf of Thailand, it is a
small, idyllic island, only about 21 kilometres square and about two hours
journey on the ferry from Koh Samui.
As the catamaran steams
into Mae Haad, the ramshackle town comes into view. Catamaran – a rather grand name for the steel
hulk of a vessel that has bounced me around for the last two hours. I was glad I went into the VIP cabin, even though
it started in an argument with a Thai passenger who reclined his seat right
into my kneecaps. I pointed out to him
that there an entire cabin of empty seats he could have used instead of sitting
on top of me. His considered response
was to tell me that I should have stayed at home and not come to Thailand. Welcome to the land of smiles.
As I walked along the
ramshackle pier towards the ramshackle town I was greeted by a chorus of “Taxi!
Taxi!” from a throng of taxi drivers.
Some had signs for resorts, others had boards with names on them, but
they all had one feature in common – being fat.
Fat taxi drivers make me suspicious.
It means they charge too much. I
selected the thinnest one I could find and we were off to my accommodation in
Sairee. It cost 400 Baht (GBP 8.00) for
a journey just over one mile. My hunch was right.
If Mae Haad is a local
town with some tourists, then Sairee is a tourist town with some locals. Definitely aimed at the younger end of the
market, for students in a gap year, or having just finished university, but
still not wanting to grow up and face the real world, searching for that last
little piece of hedonism before committing to a lifetime of conformism. Who can blame them? I never had that opportunity when I was that
age, but I do now. So here I am, forty-six years of age about to relive my twenties. I imagine that I will stop short of the
drinking alcohol out of buckets, accompanied by series of promiscuous sexual
encounters and then crashing my scooter.
In the end I managed to refrain from two out of the three, which
according to the 1970’s philosopher, Meatloaf, “ain’t bad”.
There is no escaping
the fact that scuba diving is the omnipresent recreational activity here. There are in excess of forty dive shops
around the island. They range from the
huge factory type organisations with their impersonal production line that
churns out fully certified, but only partly competent divers, to the smaller,
more intimate and professional outfits.
Diving courses are about half the price here that they are anywhere else
in the world, and there is no doubt that this is the place to be if diving
floats your boat.
Sairee offers almost
everything the young, non-affluent, randy traveller could need. The beach and
“Yellow Brick Road” that runs between here and Mae Haad is lined with bars,
clubs, eateries and massage studios. It
has a really vibrant atmosphere at night, with fire performers along the beach
trying their best to incinerate tourists, clubs banging out music into the
night with revellers dancing in the sea, and even one or two old blokes like me
trying to be young again. If you prefer
a more direct approach to your leisure activities, there are a number of girlie
bars around, and even a Ladyboy Cabaret if you are in the market for such
specialist entertainment that has more cheese than a French cheese shop on
national cheese eating day.
Nearby Mae Haad is somewhat
more conservative. Less touristy, less
pretentious and definitely more local, it has managed to retain some of its dignity,
but there is still evidence of that being eroded with the ubiquitous greed for
money that seems to blanket this beautiful tropical island.
Eating out on the
island is a lottery. Do not expect top
class restaurants here. There are a
mixture of inexpensive local restaurants, as well as more expensive
establishments aimed at the tourist market that sell the same food, but at four
or five times the price. Be prepared for abysmal service. I ordered chicken at one restaurant, waited
for an hour then was told that they didn’t have any chicken. You can guess what my reaction was like as
this is now widely known on the island as the infamous “chicken incident”. Such incidents are common, as is getting
orders wrong, but they NEVER make a mistake where money is concerned. The
locals are all about money, and how to get it off you with the least amount of
effort.
Many tourists think it
is a great idea to rent a bike or scooter.
It isn’t. It baffles me that the
otherwise discerning tourist thinks that they can go to a small, foreign,
tropical island with extremely badly maintained roads, often at an impossible
gradient, and hire a scooter with no experience of ever having ridden one
before, drive it at 2AM with two of their mates on the back after getting
completely monged on alcohol and a raft of psychedelic drugs and then wonder what
happened when they wake up the next morning with their face in a plastic bag
beside their bed.
The bike hire business
is a racket. No matter what, you will be
over-charged for damage when you return the bike. There are one or two genuine rental shops,
but if you don’t know, then don’t take the risk. It is not worth getting into an argument with
the locals here.
In fact, I have been
disappointed by the general attitude of the local Thais on this island. The land of smiles it definitely isn’t. True, I have met and am friendly with a
number of lovely Thai people here, but the general populous is aggressive,
pushy and rude, often with an undercurrent of implied violence. This is the one thing that really spoils this
island – being treated like crap by the people you are financing by spending
your money here.
It often seems to me
that the locals have a total lack of respect for everything, apart from
themselves. They can be so selfish and
short-sighted. To a Westerner it is
incomprehensible that there appears to be no planning for the future; no
investment, nor indeed no respect for the very island that brings the locals so
much money. This island is being raped
for its wealth; for the quick Bhat to feed that Asian need for instant
gratification. This is what will destroy
Koh Tao eventually.
The recent elections
here have been set to the backdrop of a more inclusive administration system,
bringing Koh Tao in line with other provinces of Thailand. There have been promises of new roads,
reliable electricity supply and even a hospital. All this is good news – or is it? Koh Tao cannot sustain any additional
tourism. It has reached its capacity, and perhaps at times even exceeds
it. If a better infrastructure would
serve only what already exists, that is one thing, but my concern is that Koh
Tao will change into a modern, resort-driven island, thereby killing off those
features that make it so attractive today.
In a perverse way I like the fact that they have to turn off the
electricity supply every time it rains, that the internet doesn’t always work,
or that I have to navigate along a rut-ridden road on my scooter every time I
leave my house. It reminds me that I
actually am thousands of miles away from home.
The last year I have
spent on the island has been one of the best experiences of my life. It is easy to make good friends here. The
ex-pat community is very social and supportive, the weather is much better than
at home in the U.K. and the constant flow of tourists means there are always
new and interesting, happy people to meet. I would definitely recommend a visit here
before it changes for the worse. It is a
great island, but a kind word along with a little respect could make it the
real paradise that it deserves to be. Go
on Koh Tao! Come out of your shell and give us a smile!